Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
