come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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