So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Terrible idea I love it
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
