so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I enjoy the company of your penis
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
