He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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