I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i think my mom watched the whole time
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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