it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
