Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
