Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
