Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i think my cat just said my name.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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