roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Someone came in the potted fern
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I did not marry a roomba.
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