i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just had sex on a roof
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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