I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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