after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
