lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
