why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
