paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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