I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
