My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
