No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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