And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
