Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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