STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
