i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
