i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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