Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
