I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
