he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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