You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
