Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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