Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
