the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
