thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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