im gay
i know
yea but for you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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