She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
