Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Randomize
