May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
