I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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