Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
