Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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