i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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