I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
