ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
