It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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