2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
