I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
