I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
