I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
