If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
