I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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