5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
