Will you blow on my dice?
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
